But I Need Your Touch Just Too Damn Much
by Rosaroes Crouch
Summary: Harry is a professor at Heartbroken Anonymous. What happens if Draco Malfoy shows up at one his classes one day? Harry is reminded of how Draco broke his heart. What did he do? But slash happens. HPDM.
1. Prologue

**But I need your touch just too damn much**

Prologue

"Welcome class!"

"Hello professor Potter!"

Harry smiled at the enthusiastic response of his class.

"So, today we're going to go through what the exact cause is of your pain. Did you get hurt because of the promises, the life you had that was perfect, or-" Harry was cut off.

"Or was it the fact that the person you longed for your whole life was the one thing you knew you'd never have."

Harry's eyes grew as large as they could possibly get. "Malfoy?"

The attractive blonde in the doorway smirked. "It's me, Draco."

Harry blinked a few times. He couldn't believe his eyes. Draco. After all these years.

"Professor?" It was the elderly miss Rose who had asked the question. Rose had never ever had a lover in her entire life. And Rose had a fetish for gay men.

"Yes, Rose?"

"Is this the Malfoy you always told us about? The one who broke your heart? And the one who made you go work for Heartbroken Anonymous? And the-"

Harry broke Rose off. Geez, the woman was a bit too chatty for her own good. "Thank you, Rose."

Rose blushed heavily at her desk, she always had had a bit of a crush on professor Potter.

Draco had approached Harry's desk and was standing next to him. He smiled. "And then I thought I knew you," he whispered.

Harry tried to ignore Draco. He wasn't going to give in after so many years. He had hurted him too much.

It cost Harry all the willpower in his body, but then he finally managed to say it. "Draco. Leave me alone. Please."

Draco pouted. "Do you really want me to go?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay, I'll leave you to teaching your class. But I'll be waiting for you at 'The secret garden', the Chinese restaurant around the corner. Tonight. Eight o'clock." Draco blew Harry a kiss and walked out.

The whole class was excited. So this was The Malfoy! The guy who had caused their teacher so much pain.

Harry had never told them the whole story, he just told them the necessary facts. He thought that his students had a right to know why he was here, teaching them.

"Professor! C'mon! Tell us about Draco! He looks so cute!" This time it was Renay, a very funny woman who was a friend of Rose's. Renay had lived a pretty normal life, but eventually she'd concluded that the life of an old spinster was better for her than the life of a married woman.

Harry felt a blush come up in his cheeks. He didn't want to tell them. But he knew he had to.

"Professor. I think it's essential that you do tell us," said Jessica, a woman who had had so many lovers in her life that even she'd lost count.

Harry stared at the curious faces. Twelve faces. His twelve pupils. Twelve people who had been hurt so badly that they had come here.

"Okay, I will tell you. But not too long, allright? Just a summary."

Everybody in the classroom nodded eagerly. All dying to find out more about Draco Malfoy and his relationship with professor Potter.

"It all started one day in our seventh year at our school…"

* * *

**Leave a little review for me, please! **


	2. I: The Hard Wand Shop

**But I need your touch just too damn much**

I: The Hard Wand Shop

"Well, it all started at that one day in our seventh year."

Harry cleared his throat, sat himself down on the table and started his tale.

* * *

Harry was staring at the Slytherin table. His spoon was sticking in his chocolate pudding, but he wasn't hungry. He was bored. Harry Potter was thoroughly bored. He just didn't know what to do anymore. Yeah, study, Hermione would say, but he didn't feel like studying. He wanted a challenge.

And therefore he was staring at Draco Malfoy. The blonde Slytherin seemed to be very amused, not bored in the least. Harry sighed. He missed their fights. A couple of weeks ago, Draco 'just' had stopped bothering him.

At first Harry was satisfied, but now he felt lonely and bored. He wondered what made Draco change his mind. Why wouldn't he pick fights with him like before?

Harry sighed again.

"Harry? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry murmured and stared at his chocolate pudding. It did look yummy. _Image what naughty things you could with that_. Wow, wheredid that come from? Possibly boredom.

Harry immediately looked at Malfoy and was surprised to find his grey eyes staring at him already. _Argh__! I'm turning crazy due to my boredom!_

"Harry," whispered Seamus from the other side of the table," You're bored, right?"

Harry nodded fervently. "Yes! Yes I am!" A few Gryffindors looked up from their meals, staring at Harry with confused looks.

"Well," Seamus started mysteriously. "A couple of us guys are going to the Hard Wand Shop tonight. If you want to come?"

The Hard Wand Shop? What was exciting about a wandshop? Harry grunted. "Seamus, what do I need a wandshop for? I'll earlier die of boredom than go there!"

Seamus giggled. "Here, Harry, look!" Seamus had shoved a small paper over the table towards Harry.

**_The Hard Wand Shop_**

--------

At Hogsmeade

**Everything a lonely Wizard needs to Harden His Wand**

**We offer:**

**various**** potions and spells concerning Wand Improvement,**

**a**** large range of Visual Stimulators,**

**secluded**** rooms for Private Meetings and much much more!**

"Ow, _that _wand," Harry blushed.

Seamus grinned and grabbed the paper back. "So, are you in? You look like you can use some _relaxation_," Seamus winked.

Harry smiled. "Yeah, sure." What could go wrong? It's just a visit to a sexually orientated shop, that couldn't hurt him _that_ much, right? And he was extremely bored! So problem solved!

It was night. Everybody was asleep. Well, not everybody, only the obient students.

And so it was that Seamus, Dean, Ron and Harry were exiting the Gryffindor commonroom, all with exciting looks on their faces. Harry was the only one who didn't know what to expect from this little trip. But then again, Harry was the most innocent of them all.

"Shush!" Harry whispered as they sneaked through the hallways.

Suddenly they all stood still. They had all heard steps, soft steps.

"My, my. Gryffindor boys out after curfew. I think Filch will just love this," a silky voice drawled behind their backs.

"Malfoy!" Harry growled.

Draco only grinned. "But since I'm such a wonderful person, I'll offer you a chance. Either take me with you to your little pervert shop OR I'll scream a bit and Filch will show up."

Harry grabbed Draco by his collar and pushed him against the wall. "You little bastard," Harry whispered.

"Oh dear, Potter, can't control your lust anymore, huh? I know, I'm pretty hot, but please let me go and satisfy whatever needs you have at this shop. I don't like to be _touched_ and especially not by you," Draco smirked.

Harry clasped his hand over Draco's mouth to silence the boy.

As a response Draco slithered his snakish tongue over Harry's palm.

"Uck! Malfoy! You _licked_ me! _You_ licked _me_!" Harry cried out.

Seamus, Dean and Ron were just silent and staring at Harry with a look of utter horror on their faces.

Draco smirked and leaned back on the wall. "So, do you want me to come with you?"

Harry nodded unwillingly and grabbed Draco by his arm. "Hurry then."

"Ooooooh." Draco stared amazed at the Hard Wand Shop.

"Oh, c'mon Malfoy, don't tell me you've never been here to cure yourself from your little problems?" Ron sneered.

Draco huffed. "Yeah, that's believable, Weasley. Everybody knows I'm The Sexgod."

Harry giggled. "You? Sexgod? Whahahaha!"

Draco stared sternly at Harry. "Oh, Harry, don't make me _show_ you the Sexgod that I am."

Harry blushed and ran into the store to be far away from Draco's sexual insinuations.

* * *

"Oh my god! Professor! Did you go to a pornshop?" Rose cried out, her hands clasped in front of her mouth.

Harry blushed and nodded.

Jessica stood up. "Hey, what's wrong with porn? It's just like sex, only a lot less realistic!"

"Yeah, yeah. You and your porn again," Renay winked at Jessica.

"Women! Control yourself," Harry interrupted the trio.

"Yeah, the professor here was trying to tell a story, so shut up!" Rose yelled at Renay and Jessica.

Renay and Jessica both looked at Rose with great amazement in their eyes.

"Hey! It was you who interrupted him in the first place!" Renay said.

"Yes, she's right!" Jessica confirmed.

Rose huffed angrily. "Oh yeah, blame it on the blonde again? Sure, easy."

Jessica giggled.

Renay rolled her eyes and looked at Jessica's way-too-revealing outfit.

"Jessica, you're such a slut!"

"Look who's talking!" Jessica responded and pointed at Renay.

"What? Me? A slut?"

"Yes!"

Renay flushed from anger and stood up.

"Let's see who's the slut here, shall we?" Jessica tried to challenge Renay for a bitchfight.

"Oh, no! You two are not starting a fight!" Rose screamed and jumped between the two women.

Now professor Potter approached them. "Stop this discussion! Both of you are no sluts!"

"Oww, look who's talking!" Rose whispered.

Harry heard the elder woman's words and grinned.

"Well, actually, I _was_ quite the slut."

Rose's mouth fell open. "You were?"

"Urm, shall I continue my story, then?" Harry suggested.

* * *

**bats eyelashes innocently, please review?**


	3. II: The Stalking Sexgod

**But I need your touch just too damn much**

II: The Stalking Sexgod

"Urm, shall I continue my story, then?" Harry suggested.

* * *

Harry was staring around in the shop with his eyes as big as saucers. He had never ever seen such a thing before. The whole shop was decorated with pink and purple fuzzy skin, bright lights in every corner and loud music to increase a certain mood.

There were 'items' everywhere. Things Harry had never seen before. Things Harry didn't dare guessing about what they were used for.

The raven haired boy shivered. "Uck."

Suddenly he felt two warm hands sneaking towards his waist from behind.

"What-" Harry cried out as he turned around. "No, not _YOU_ again." Harry sighed and pushed Malfoy away.

"What's wrong?" Draco pouted.

"_You_ are wrong! Why are you bothering me so much? First you didn't fight with me anymore for God-Knows-What reason and now you're practically sexually harassing me! What's wrong with you?" Harry blurted out.

Draco's cheeks flushed lightly pink. "Nothing's wrong with me Potter. I just thought you'd like the attention." With those words and a smirk Draco disappeared to the back of the store.

After a little while and a lot of annoying stunts from Ron and Seamus, Harry was wandering to the Magical Digital Video's section. That was the sanest part of this whole shop.

After seeing Ron's bright pink rabbit dildo, Seamus's chocolate lubricant and Dean's maidens uniform Harry was too grossed out. So he cut himself loose of his friends and was now walking through long rows of movies.

He saw every fantasy anyone could possibly have pass by.

But now something suddenly caught his eye. It was one of the rare gay movies and Harry was fascinated by the moving picture on the front. It displayed two rather young guys who were kissing each other fiercely. One guy had very light blonde hair and the other had very dark brown hair.

Harry felt like he recognized those boys from somewhere, but it obviously had slipped his mind.

'Malchik Gay' was the short title of the video. Harry knew what that meant, he had studied a bit of Russian in his early days. 'Malchik' meant 'boy', so the whole title simply meant 'Gay Boy'.

Harry was still staring at the video. He had been wondering for a rather long time if he was gay or not. He just didn't have many (read: any) experiences concerning his love or sex life. And therefore he couldn't just find out.

So, should he buy the movie? Just so that he could watch and learn if this was really his sexual preference? Harry was still doubting when two pale hands grabbed the small box out of Harry's hands.

"Hey! I was going to buy that!" Harry yelled.

"You were?" drawled a too well-known silky voice.

Harry sighed deeply. "Not you again, Malfoy." Harry turned around and he was staring into two silvery shimmering eyes.

"Yes, _Harry_, it's a true delight to run into you again."

Harry looked at the movie Draco was holding.

"Oh, you want _this_?" Draco asked seductively.

Harry nodded. "Yes."

"Oh, my, Potter, I never knew you liked guys so much."

Harry blushed. "It's none of your bussiness, Malfoy."

Draco shook his head. "Oh no, it is perfectly well my bussiness. What if you'd fall in love with, say- _me_?"

Harry swallowed hard and almost choked in his own saliva. "Wha-_what_?"

Draco raised one of his eyebrows. "Well, yes. I'm The Sexgod, as we'd confirmed earlier, and every gay guy at Hogwarts absolutely lusts for me. So why not you?"

"Because I'm not gay," Harry hissed through his teeth.

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that, Potter," Malfoy smirked.

"Hey! Harry what have you got there?" Ron said loudly, almost yelling, and pointed at the box that Draco was still holding.

Harry stuttered and tried to think of an excuse. Fuck! How could he possibly explain this? Just scream out: HEY! I'M GAY! That didn't sound like a very sensible solution.

"Oh, it's not Harry's. It's mine," Draco said proudly.

"YOURS?" Seamus screamed out.

"Yes. And if you happen to have a problem with that, Finnigan, I'd like to hear you explain about those _magazines_ you keep in your secret drawer."

Seamus seemed to be gasping for air, like a fish on dry land, but he kept silent.

Draco went to pay for the film and a moment later the five of them exited the Hard Wand Shop.

They were walking silently through the hallways of Hogwarts in the middle of the night. Harry and Draco were walking very slowly and soon enough, they were left all alone.

"Thanks," Harry muttered.

Draco just stared. "You're welcome. I really wanted that movie for myself, you know."

"Ow." Harry was silent for a moment when the true meaning of Draco's words got through to him.

"Oh, so you're-" Harry didn't dare finish his sentence.

Draco didn't answer.

"I'd better go to bed now," Harry murmured and his hand brushed against Draco's shoulder for a moment.

Draco nodded. "Yeah, you'd better. Well, if you ever want to borrow it, you know where to find me."

Harry smiled and turned around to leave.

Suddenly he felt a warm breath next to his ear. "But we could always watch it together," Draco whispered in Harry's ear.

Harry blushed and ran away to his common room.

* * *

"You did WHAT?" Jessica screamed.

Harry stared shyly at the floor. "Yes, I ran. I ran away."

The whole class sighed deeply and was staring with a discontent look at their professor.

"I thought you'd be someone who knows something about love, but here we are, listening to a story about a shy boy who doesn't even admits he's gay to himself!" Rose softly spoke.

Harry smiled. "Yes, Rose, I suppose you're right."

"Hey! Proffesor! She didn't mean that in a bad way. Just that there's hope for us all. Right, Rose?" Renay responded.

Rose hadn't meant her words like that, but just for this occasion she nodded.

"But professor, I'm sure Draco made you feel bad in one way or another, but you must meet him tonight! You have to give him a chance!" Jessica said.

Renay confirmed. "Yes. You have to. It's not like you anything to lose!"

Harry thought about his little kitty he'd called Whiskers. That was all he had. That was everyone who loved him. But Renay was right. He didn't really had anything to lose.

"But doesn't your story continue? I mean, there must have happened more! You said he broke your heart! And you said you were a slut!" Rose cried out, licking her lips at the word 'slut'.

Harry nodded. "Yes, my story does continue. But first let's have a break and feed ourselves, than I'll continue after that. Okay?"

The whole class seemed to fine with that and they all got up to consume their food and drinks.

"I bet he and Draco had lots of kinky sex, don't you think?" Jessica suggested to Rose and Renay on their way out.

Renay snickered.

"No, no kinky sex! I'll bet Draco got Harry pregnant or something! Or maybe he cheated on the poor professor!" Rose added enthusiastically.

"Girls, stop it. You sound like two elderly women who have no social life!" Renay said. But she immediately realised that she, Rose and Jessica in fact _were_ elderly women without a social life.

The three of them sighed deeply.

* * *

Lingering question: what did Draco do to make Harry hate him so much? Who guesses gets caramel fudge from stripper!Draco!

**Cough, so, please, review. **


	4. III: The Tragedy of Chinese Food

**But I Need Your Touch Just Too Damn Much**

III: The Tragedy Of Chinese Food

"Rather," Harry continued with his story," I did not get the chance to have lots of kinky sex – as someone in this class suggested," and he looked at Jessica, who turned bright red at the spot.

"What happened, then?" was the only sentence lingering between Harry and his students.

Harry sighed. Although he appreciated the support and interest his students were taking in his former love life, he hated himself for feeling the pain all over again. _Damn Draco. _He was never going to forgive him – he never should have trusted a Slytherin.

"Well," Harry sat down on the edge of his table. "I did go back, you know, even though I was such a wuss. I went to Draco, to allegedly borrow that movie. As if that movie mattered, at all. It didn't, of course. Draco mattered."

* * *

Harry sneaked through the dark corridors leading to the Slytherin common room. 'I must be crazy, paying a visit to the most loathsome – he thought of Snape – _one of the most loathsome_ people at Hogwarts_.'_ But he knew what Draco had done. He had put the idea of him, Harry falling in love with him inside his head. Precisely because of the high unlikelihood of this, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He had never even guessed that a thought like this would ever enter his mind. He tormented himself all day – wondering.

Soon enough he had realised that Draco was in fact, without a doubt, obsessively gorgeous. It had never bothered him – or crossed his mind, because Draco was an enemy – a pure platonic enemy. But he was turned inside out. He had to know, just to stop wondering.

He knocked on the stone wall that was the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

"Who's there?" drawled a familiar voice.

"You know it's bloody me," Harry hissed.

"Oh, _yes_, Harry," the voice retorted, as if he just remembered.

The door opened and right in front of him stood Draco, staring, with an unknown grin on his face.

"Why did you do that? You knew I was coming." Harry said angrily, his heart still pounding in his chest.

"Ah, you mean that lovely message from your owl?"

Harry nodded.

"I guess it just slipped my mind." Draco smiled secretly and lead Harry into his room.

"What was it again you wanted?" Draco inquired as he closed the door behind them.

Harry blushed. Why did Draco have to make him say all these things that he was so ashamed to admit. He just answered his own question.

"Draco, I just want that movie back – _my_ movie," he corrected himself.

"Why yours? I bought it, in case you forgot."

"You just grabbed it from me when I was vulnerable!" Harry said angrily.

"Vulnerable? You were just too scared to admit it to your friends. Admit _this_," and Draco dangled the small box with the two kissing men in front of Harry.

"No I was not!" Harry screamed and threw Draco to the floor and jerked the movie his hand.

"So that's all you want?" Draco asked as he looked up at Harry who sat across his legs. Harry shivered from feeling Draco's body so close. He hated it.

"Yes! That's all!" Harry's face was suddenly very close to Draco's.

"Isn't there," Draco spoke slowly, almost purring," anything else, you'd want?" Harry could feel Draco's warm breath against his cheek. So close.

"I hate you!" Harry said, with a raised voice. "Why do you do this to me? Making me believe I like you, making be think I could even love you – hell, just suggesting that _we_, you and me, could hypothetically engage in … physical … activities." Harry had strained his thoughts to voice the last words formally.

Draco was already smirking like his old self. "Why, did that _bother _you?"

"No it didn't bother me, until you started bothering me with it!"

"Isn't this just _grande_? You, Prince of Gryffindor, and me, Slytherin Prince. It is perfectly logical to think about – us. We are each other's counterparts."

Harry couldn't help murmuring: "Opposites attract."

Draco's hands were grabbing Harry by his shoulders and he pulled him down, to the floor. Harry was now almost completely on top of Draco.

"Why?" was al Harry could say.

"The best things don't need reasoning," Draco answered. Before he knew it, Harry had pressed a hungry kiss on Draco's lips – forgetting all about wondering and hating Draco.

* * *

"You kissed! You kissed!" Rose screamed.

"Yes, we did."

"And by the sound of things, that really was a mutual thing," Renay added.

"Yes, Draco was right about that counterpart-thing. It's like yin and yang. You were made for each other," Rose said dreamily.

"But – then, what happened? Why isn't he here, loving you?" Jessica asked confused.

"Ah, well, that's even more a longer story than this one. And it's nearly eight," Harry looked at his watch.

"Eight o'clock! Draco's waiting!" yelled Jessica," you _must_ go!"

Harry shook his head. "No, you don't know what he did. If you knew, you wouldn't say this."

"Maybe we don't know your complete history together, but something we _do know _is that look in his eyes. We saw it. He loves you, professor," Renay said.

Harry growled. He didn't want to go. He really didn't. But in the back of his mind, he knew he'd even hate himself more if he didn't go. All the questions he had. All the pain he wanted to cause to Draco – all the pain he himself had felt.

"Okay. I'll go," Harry muttered and packed up his bag.

The classroom roared with enthusiastic screams. Harry on the other hand, wasn't so happy about it.

* * *

"Harry! I'm so glad you came!" Draco almost jumped out of his seat to embrace Harry. But Harry pushed Draco's arms away.

"Don't touch me. I'm here to talk, nothing else."

"Ow." Draco looked obviously disappointed. "Well, sit down, have something to drink and we'll order in a minute."

Harry hated how Draco has chosen one of his favourite restaurants for this encounter. He always loved Chinese food and now he was here, so much against his will. But he knew he didn't just go here because of his class. He also needed to know, why Draco had done it. Why he had made him so miserable that he had wanted to end his life.

"So, how are you?" Draco asked with a caring voice. His hand crept towards Harry's, softly stroking him with his lean fingers. Harry pulled his hand from Draco's grasp.

"Oh, I'm fine," Harry said with sarcasm and boredom.

"I know – I know, it's a stupid question," Draco corrected himself.

"Yes, it damn well is. You know how you hurt me and here you are, all of a sudden, asking me how I am! Well, I am _not_ fine, I am _not_ happy and I am _not_ over you!"

"That's why I'm here! To make things right again!"

"To make things – _right_? Don't you realise there is a limit to the amount of wrongdoing someone can do and make right again? You've passed your limit long time ago, Draco!"

"I know," Draco looked at the table, filled with shame. "I should have been there more. I shouldn't have let you all alone. It wasn't just the thrill of having you, you know. I did really care."

Harry huffed. "Yeah, sure, you really showed how much you cared. When you _weren't _there on our anniversary, when you _weren't _there on Valentine's day, when you _weren't _there when I played Quidditch."

Draco opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say.

"You didn't even bother to show up at my birthday." Harry rubbed away his beginning tears – of anger or pain. "Just admit it, you just wanted to have me. Be Harry Potter's boyfriend. But you just had to have it all, didn't you? Gryffindor _and _Slytherin."

Draco sputtered. He jumped from his seat. "No! It wasn't like that!"

Harry was filled with bitter irony. "How was it then?" and he folded his arms, ready for a stupid explanation. He couldn't talk his way out of this, "_Why_ did you have to have Severus?"

* * *

**Next up:** yes, Draco, why?

Review: why, do _you_ reckon? And what happened?


	5. IV: Why, Draco, why?

**But I Need Your Touch Just Too Damn Much**   


IV: Why, Draco, why?

"Harry," Draco sighed, looking very unhappy," it wasn't like that at all. You know."

"I know? No, I don't know Draco. I haven't know all along. I've been wondering ever since that day," Harry felt angry and victimised at the same time. "So _do_ enlighten me."

- - - - -

With the blush only someone in love could have on his cheeks, Harry walked down the stairs. In his hands he held a hastily – but very prettily – wrapped present. Last weeks had been tough on him. He had expected so much from Draco after they started seeing each other. Stealing kisses in dark hallways, winking at each other in class when nobody was looking and even curl up against one another when the rest of their Housemates had gone to Hogsmeade. It wasn't your idea of the perfect relationship, but Harry was in love. He didn't dare to admit it to Draco, afraid the Slytherin Prince would back away.

But the last weeks had been hell. Every meeting they'd managed to arrange – with difficulty! – Draco hadn't shown up. Harry would get a short note by owl next morning with some lame excuse of having to visit his parents or Crabbe's birthday. Well, tonight he wasn't going to be stood up again. If Draco didn't wish to continue their – escapades, he'd have to say it right to his face.

Harry had just around the corner to the dungeons when he heard raised voices from behind a slightly opened door. He recognised Draco's voice immediately. What the hell was this? 'Busy with my Charms essay,' was Draco's excuse of the day – what bussiness had he talking to someone at this hour? Harry sneaked up to the door, trying to overhear their conversation. Very improper, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Draco-," a low voice ordered.

"Oh no, we're not going through this again!" Draco apparently objected.

"Yes we are. I'm not letting you make this mistake."

"It's no mistake! I've told you before what I want! I'm not pleading with you!"

A couple of minutes both seemed to be silent. But then Harry heard the sounds of two people kissing – it was unmistakable. He could just die right on the spot. Only that moment he realised that there hung a golden plate on the door – saying 'Dr. S. Snape – Potions'. He died even more, if that was possible.

Heavily sobbing he threw his wrapped gift on this floor, he ran back to his room.

He hated him. He hated him. He hated him. All this time, he'd been lied to. All this time, he had been thinking be meant something to Draco. But all this time Draco was with – with _Snape_! He went crazy from the pain he was feeling, crying with high-pitches wails. He crawled up under his bed, not knowing what to do with himself. If he'd only had a sharp knife, he'd show Draco. He'd be sorry when they'd would find his lifeless body, with red eyes from crying all night. But he didn't. He wanted, but he couldn't.

"What was that?" Draco broke the kiss to listen.

"Nothing," Severus shrugged and tried to pull Draco's lips back to his.

"No, I heard something, I'm sure." Draco walked to the door and looked into the corridor. It was deserted – except for a wrapped present. Draco picked it up.

"What's that?" the potionsmaster asked from his desk.

"I don't know," Draco responded, carefully unwrapping it. As soon as he realised what it was he was holding, tears were welling up in his eyes. _No, it couldn't be – please let it not be._ But it was already to late. Draco was holding a very fluffy white bunny, he recognised it. Harry and him had seen it in a shop in Diagon Alley, both admiring how cute and realistis the stuffed animal had appeared. And not it broke his heart.

"Fuck," he groaned.

- - - - -

Draco bit his lip. It was coming back to him, how guilty he had felt. How he never had realised he _broke _Harry.

"I'm so – _so_ sorry." He fumbled in his bag and took out something that once was white. He smelled it.

"I still have him, you know." He smiled faintly at Harry, showing him the bunny.

"I see," Harry said," It looks worn."

Draco nodded. "He goes everywhere with me. Called him Harry – I did. When you left, he was all I got."

"I had no choice, you left me no choice. You completely shattered me, Draco."

"But there's more to it, Harry. I'm afraid to tell you this. But if wasn't as if I was seeing Severus 'just for fun'."

"Oh, he _made_ you kiss him?" Harry said sarcastically.

"No, it was, like – we were seeing each other before _us_. There were just things, issues, that still had to be dealt with."

"Oh come on, Draco, it had been three months that day, since our first kiss. What did you have to 'handle' still after three months?"

"You knew – that, that day was our anniversary?" Draco was touched.

"Of course, and you would've known that if you weren't too busy making out with your ex!"

"Harry!" Draco now raised his voice for the first time that evening," I never wished to tell you this, but I see there's no other way." He sighed deeply, as if preparing himself for something important. "Harry, I – I - was ... pregnant," Draco swallowed hard," We'd just found out a couple of days before. I wanted to get out of it – live me life with you. But Severus kept pushing, he didn't want me to make a big mistake – hurry things because I was so in love with you. He was the only one who understood, Harry." He didn't dare to look up at Harry.

"Pregnant?" Harry couldn't believe his ears. "Why the _fuck_ didn't you tell me?"

Draco shrugged. "I would've, now. But back then, you know how it was, Harry. We were even too afraid to admit that we were in love – how do you think you would have taken that news?"

Harry knew Draco was right. Things were different then. They were too young, their whole lives had revolved in and around Hogwarts.

"But, it was Severus's?"

"Yes."

"What happened to it?"

Draco's face grew red, he started to tear a tissue to pieces. "Died," he whispered.

They were silent for a minute.

"But it was all my fault. If I had just been honest with you, we would've still been together and that baby might have still been alive."

"How did it die?" Harry was almost too afraid to ask.

"_He_," Draco corrected Harry," I miscarried. All my fault."

"Draco, don't blame yourself! You know it's a lot more difficult for a man to conceive, let along succesfully give birth. You _know _that. Don't fool yourself."

"Thanks," Draco sniffed.

Harry sat down next to Draco and stroke his back to confort him.

"Here, here, you're allright. I just wished you'd told me earlier."

"I'm sorry." Draco nuzzled into Harry's neck, trying to recapture a scent he had long lost.

Harry wanted to push Draco away, but he just couldn't reject him in a situation like this.

"Chinese tomato soup, the one you like so much?" he asked, whispering, in Draco's ear.

Draco nodded. "Yes, please." He smiled.

- - - - -

**Author's Notes:** Okay, I know, I know. I'm not a big fan of MPREG myself, but for some sort of reason it just fitted. And the baby's dead and all, so it won't play a big role in the rest of the story – only as story itself.

I hope I didn't dissapoint you all. (And yes, next chapter Harry will be back in his Heartbroken Anonymous class.)

**Please review.** Do you think Harry should go and visit Severus? Or something else that should happen?


	6. V: What's wrong with this picture?

**But I need your touch just too damn much**

**Author's Note:** Okay, at first: Severus isn't gross, greasy or evil. (Where do you people get these silly ideas? Wink.) He is _damn_ sexy. So it would be totally responsible for Draco to be in an affair with him. So. Thanks – now we got that out of the way, Harry hasn't long forgiven Draco. But what would you do if you just made someone confess to you they'd lost their baby? And again: sorry for the mpreg, just for the plot. On with the story.

V: What's wrong with this picture?

Rose sat still, her eyes were all teared up and she sniffed silently. Renay didn't know what to say, she just stared with her mouth wide open. Jessica stood up and walked up their professor. He had just told them what had happened last night. Nobody – no matter how huge their love issues were – could remember their own sorrow. They were all too caught up with Harry's.

Jessica sat down next to her teacher and put her arm around him. It was a strange situation – all Harry's pupils were in shock and he himself didn't seem to overcome this issue on his own. He sniffed, smiled and took a tissue to give to Jessica.

"So today you've learnt: never meet up with ex-lovers." He grinned. "It only fucks your life up even more."

"No professor, you shouldn't say such things. I think it's good you went," Jessica said as she walked back to her seat – wiping her little tears away.

"And why would that be?" Harry seemed not able to believe there was a good side to this whole mess.

"Well," Renay said thoughtfully, "otherwise you'd blame Draco for something that wasn't his fault – entirely. Now you know the truth."

Harry huffed. The truth, the bloody fucking truth. He rather would have lived on without knowing – this.

"I don't value the truth as much as you do." He responded. "It's just all too messed up. Draco was the bad guy – and he still is – but now all I can think of when I see him is how I should pity him. And he doesn't deserve my pity! It is not my fault, what happened."

Rose nodded. "Yes, you're right. You should still see things in perspective."

"Last night he was sobbing like a little child and all I could do was comfort him – although I loathe him! Argh – it's so messed up." Harry grabbed his head. It was just too confusing. Draco had been the bad guy, but now he was a man – the-man-who-once-had-a-child. It changed him completely. Harry wasn't into that. Even if he would have found a way to forgive Draco, he had wanted him to be the same stuck-up arrogant, but brilliant Slytherin he had once known. He hasn't like that anymore.

"I just – don't like children," he confessed.

Renay and Jessica let out a shrill scream of shock.

"You're right," Rose responded knowingly. "Can't stand them either." She shivered as if a big spider was crawling around on her back.

"Draco just isn't that Malfoy anymore. He was that one guy that was so wrong, but felt to right to love. The baddest man in town – with the hottest look."

"Amen!" Rose and Jessica nodded.

"This whole baby-bussiness has just mixed up your point of view of one another. You should get rid of it." Jonathan spoke up for the first time. He was a stylishly dressed man in his fourties with longish darkbrown hair. As gay as they come – of course.

"Yes!" Rose reacted enthusiastically," he's got a very good point! You have to change your mental image."

"Change the picture in my head," Harry mused. "But how?"

"Ooh! I know! I know!" Jessica jumped up from her chair. "You've got to go and see Severus. Talk to him."

Harry didn't like this suggestion at all. Ever since Hogwarts he and Severus hadn't exactly been two peas in a pod. But on the other hand – so were he and Draco. He just knew that talking to the potionsmaster wasn't going to be easy. Especially if it involved the death of a child he – Harry just realised he had no clue if Severus had wanted the child or not.

"I suppose, I should," he agreed.

Most of his students were nodding their heads.

Harry sighed. "Sorry that we had no time for a session about all your problems. Next class, I promise."

It didn't matter to anyone, they just hoped that one love life could perhaps be saved. Or was wishing for a mended heart at Heartbroken Anonymous wishing upon a star?

- - - -

He was determined not to visit Severus at Hogwarts. Luckily he knew were the potionsmaster usually resided during weekends – a small cottage in the Welsh countryside. Harry was surprised to realise that Snape did have taste. The little house looked like a typical English cottage, even accompanied by stylish garden filled with colourful plants and flowers.

Hesitantly he softly knocked upon the wooden door. Maybe he wasn't in, he secretly hoped. But his hope faded as soon as he heard steps approach the door.

He had hoped Severus wouldn't be too angry with him for visiting him – but the only expression on the man's face was that of utter and ultimate shock and surprise.

"Potter?" Harry knew the potionsmaster was mentally cursing him for standing at his door. He would've been angry if he were him too.

"Euhm, yes, professor. I am very sorry to disturb you during your valuable weekend – but, there are really some things I'd would to talk to you about?" Harry tried to sound as sincere as possible, but his announcement sounded more as a fearful question.

"Talk? You want to talk to – me, Potter?" Snape grimaced. Harry was glad the man still wore his regular robes. He couldn't imagine him in Muggle clothing. It would distort his picture of him.

"Please. Let me in," Harry almost begged. "It's about Draco."

Severus's face suddenly showed more anger Harry had ever seen. Draco must really be a soft spot. Well – he was his own weakness as well.

"Hurry then." Snape growled and opened the door to Harry.

"So, what do you want?" Severus ordered as soon as they sat themselves down in the sitting room.

"I'm just trying to understand."

Severus sighed. "So mr. Malfoy had let you in on that little secret – has he?"

"Yes he has. And – I'm sorry – really," Harry stuttered.

Severus waved with his hand. "No, you shouldn't be."

"I just want to – try to – know – understand."

"Mr. Potter, that it none of your concern. For questions of any kind you should go to your _boyfriend_." He said the last word with malice.

"He is not my boyfriend," Harry hissed. "That is the problem. I can't talk to him anymore. He isn't the Draco I knew."

"Did his pregnancy blemish him too much for you?" Snape said with painful sarcasm.

"No!" Harry yelled enraged. "It isn't like that!"

"Oh." Snape rolled his eyes – as if he'd believe that.

"You have no idea what a shock it was for me to hear something like that?"

Severus coughed. "Serves you right. For that time – when I caught you two boys. Scandalous."

Harry remembered that encounter very vividly. It had been one of their most precious moments.

It had been right after a Quidditch match. Harry had played against Draco – and lost for the first time. But his eyes had been focused on something entirely different than a fluttering snitch.

All the Slytherins had been exstatic and Harry had retreated to the dressing rooms for some rest. His team mates had gone back to the castle to sulk, but he didn't particularly care. It wasn't just because of Draco – the realisation of Quidditch not being the most important thing in the world had dawned upon him earlier.

While he showered his sweat and the dirt away, he had heard a sound in the dressing room. He had quickly washed his hair, turned the water off and wrapped a towel around his waist – eager to find out who or what had disturbed his shower.

But he didn't get what he expected. He got what he had dreamed of and more.

Draco was standing right in front of him – still in his Quidditch gear, with a red sweaty face. Normal people would smell like sweat, but Draco only smelled like – a god. If gods had a smell, it would be the same as Draco that night.

"My, my." Draco smirked, enjoying the sight of Harry in nothing but a small towel wrapped around his wet glistening body.

"So, you're a real champion then?" Harry grinned.

"Oh, yes, I am," Draco drawled, closing in on Harry. "Aren't you a little loser?" he whispered against Harry's wet lips.

"Yes," Harry whimpered, almost succumbing to Draco's lips.

Draco took off his Quidditch robes and stood in front of his fellow Seeker in only a white shirt and his tight green pants. Before Harry knew it he was pressed hard against the wall – with warm breathing against his cheek.

"So my little loser still wants a reward?" Draco let the tip of his tongue slide down Harry's neck.

"Oh, fuck, yes," Harry groaned.

"How honoured..." Draco pressed his lips hungrily against Harry's, taunting the Gryffindor, waiting until he would open his mouth and ask Draco's tongue to enter.

"you ought to feel..." Harry's hands found their way in Draco's blonde locks, pulling his head closer to his, forcing Draco's tongue into his mouth.

"to have me..." Their bodies were pressed together as tightly as possible – almost melting into one another. Draco broke the kiss to lick his way down Harry's chest. Deviously engulfing his nipples with his warm mouth.

"giving you..." Hips grinding against each other, bucking against the wall. Harry's erection only constrained by a thin layer of towel.

"all this..." Draco's lips sought out Harry's, his hand cupping the dark haired boy's head. Harry reached forward to Draco's lips – an unknown hunger had taking him over. God, how he needed this.

As his hands tried to pull Draco's trousers down – already brushing against Draco's aching erection – the door had opened.

"Mr. Malfoy – Mr. Potter! What the _hell_ is going on?" he had screamed in amazement.

Of all people it had to be Severus – bloody – Snape.

He still hadn't forgiven the professor for stealing his moment of mind-blowing sex.

- - - -

**A/N**: How do you think the conversation should continue? What/ who should make Harry and Draco meet again?

Review please.


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